Winter At Nine

Night trains are definitely my definition of pleasant. Two hours of sleep on a 10 hour train journey from Vienna to Zurich. I'm not exactly sure where all the time went, but a lot of it sure was dedicated to locking and unlocking the door to my compartment. Indeed, I had the honour of having been assigned the only "bed" within reach of the door lock. Why people like to get up at several different random times during the night still remains a mystery to me, but my responsibility of keeping the mean old meanies out of our compartment - who apparently spray some kind of spray at you and then rob you of all your goods - kept me awake through the night. NEVER accept being given that task, even if at first you feel like some kind of superhero, or guardian angel of your beloved sleeping buddies. It's not worth it, really, especially if you're stuck with people with bizarre sleeping patterns. I even had the visit of an unexpected visitor who mistook our compartment for hers, climbed up the ladder and suddenly realised someone else was in what she thought was her bed. In my skillful 4 o'clock-in-the-morning-German we managed to sort out that she was in the wrong compartment, and that I hadn't in fact been lying in the wrong bed all this time. What a completely random night! After facing my defeat at keeping intruders from infiltrating our sleeping compartment, I finally decided to give up my role as door keeper. At the risk of getting abducted by the big biting bed bugs, I abandoned myself with sweet surrender to the bilssful sound of slumber.

Either my lack of sleep results in my being in a seriously bad mood and in a state of cantankerousness (my new favourite word), or on the other hand, my eyes are constantly filled with laughter tears, caused by the simplest things. Although the line was thinly drawn between the two extremes, the latter case was the category I gracefully fell into this morning - most probably to my brother's great contentment. At the start of our journey back to Geneva from Zurich, the sun hadn't risen yet, nor was it going to break through the thick fog, as I later observed; the snow-covered fields, forests and villages depicted a maginificent black and white scenery before us. The stillness of the morning, echoed through the snow-burried countryside, soothed my soul. Smiles were exchanged with Eloi; our silence conveyed the enchantment and wonder stirring in our souls - God's presence was wonderfully made known to us.

This song by Miranda Stone is the harmony to the melody my soul was singing this morning:

Don't you feel again the glow of knowing you're on holiday? You ran around in your nightclothes like when you were nine, and you don't know what it is that maybe could be coming. Just like Christmas it is, a good surprise for tearing open. No work today only childhood things, no blue sky but happy, happy is: maybe the thrill of what snow was, coming back a little bit. Maybe the thrill of what happy, happy is - Winter at nine.

No one's angry in this morning light, it's almost like the thrill of smashing up your wooden sled, surviving the spill. Barefoot on the Persian rug, I brush my hair until I glow. There is nothing to be done today, no place left to go. No work today only childhood things, no blue sky but happy, happy is: maybe the thrill of what snow was, coming back a little bit. Maybe the thrill of what happy, happy is - Winter at nine.

Is Patience Still Waiting?

Well, maybe today was all about taking time out to ponder life - in the unusual setting of an airport lounge. I had my discman playing "Come Thou Fount" on repeat one and watched life flow by in front of me. Maybe it was the Christmas season feel, or the hymn that inspired my vision of the lounge, but it was brought to life with a harmony I've rarely witnessed before; in an airport that is. Strangers were greeting one another and talking to each other, kids were running around, some were playing their panpipes. Parents were rolling on the floor with their children, everyone seemed to be beaming with delight. A little boy grabbed his grandmother by the legs and ran with her to the window to watch the airplanes coming in. He was so excited. He told her where to stand and then found his own little spot and knelt there beside her, in front of the big glass window; mesmerized. Every now and then, perhaps when the joy was too overwhelming for him to contain and delight in on his own, he unglued his little nose from the window, looked up to where his grandma was and made sure she was still looking at this incredible and fascinating show he'd wildly ushered her to. Not too far away, brothers were taking turns at being pushed on a wheelchair, experiencing the thrill of feeling the air brush up against their face and trying to catch it with their hands. A little girl came to talk to everyone sitting in my seat aisle - a child burning with curiosity and free-spiritedness. I was overcome with a lasting smile; I couldn't hold back the joy that was brewing inside of me. In this unusually animated waiting room I was brought to think anew of how richly blessed I am. Canterbury was an uncertain destination for me last year, and solely by God's grace am I still here today. The people I've come to meet, the different things God's taught me, the experiences I've had, the things I've learned, the way I've grown...it's really crazy to think that I could have walked right next to all that. I am so thankful for the specific encounters with friends and God which have really nurtured, shaped and stretched me. It's amazing to think God knew all this was awaiting me here and that this is the place He's brought me to - out of all the other places I was looking into! I feel undeservingly blessed with the people God has brought into my life.

Just to make sure that I was in fact as thankful as I claimed to be to have 'ended up' in Canterbury, my plane to Geneva got delayed and finally, cancelled. By then the lounge's atmosphere had died down, my enthusiasm had burnt out and my lack of sleep, caught up with me...but I have walked away from my waiting-room-to-nowhere with a refreshed realisation of God's sovereignty, provision, rich grace, and abundant blessings. For instance, instead of sleeping in my Swiss bed tonight, I get the privilege of spending an extra unplanned night in my Canterbury-ish one. Life is full of surprises!

"Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise His name! I’m fixed upon it,
Name of Thy redeeming love.

Hitherto, Thy love has blessed me,
Thou hast brought me to this place.
And I know Thy hand will bring me
Safely home by Thy good grace.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above."

Ride In Such A Way...

"Ride in such a way that you may win the race" 1 Corinthians 9:24

Alas and alack, I am not the "little eskimo man" on the picture - but soon enough I'll be riding God's glorious mountains...a place where my heart leaps with joy at the beauty of the Lord; a place where I am overcome with a reverent fear at how grand He is - and this is but a mere glimpse of His glory. I love to venture myself off piste and get away from the crowds. I like to believe that I have lost myself in God's hidden creation and that it's just Him and I breathing in and embracing His creation, riding down endless open spaces of fresh, light and untouched powder. It's probably in those moments that I feel the intensity of God's intimacy with me most. A God so majestic and so ... AMAZING is riding down with me, and until I'm married, that just might be the most exhilerating thing I'll come to experience! And then again...who knows :)

Remember Who You Are...

I am finally DONE with my essays - halleluia! I finally have the time to get out of my room and breathe the cold winter air I have felt deprived of lately. I'm really looking forward to these next few days that I have here in Canterbury, before going home to the land of Switzer. I've bought a fair amount of tangerines today, and the scent they've left in my room and on my fingertips brings back to mind the joy that comes with Christmas time. I think I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that Christmas is near - the answer lies with the tangerines, my friends.

I was taken on a surprise adventure to London last Thursday for my birthday to see the Lion King's Musical. It was one of the nicest surprises I've had in a while. Consequently, I'm in a bit of a Lion King phase at the moment - nothing to worry about just yet - but I did order the musical's cd which to my happy surprise came through today. Even though this story is all about lions and cubs, with the occasional hyenas and warthog, it touches on some great themes: sacrificial love, living the life that we've been called to and living it to the fullest, the anguish of patiently waiting on our Father to guide us...

"Where has the starlight gone?
Dark is the day
How can I find my way back home?
Home is an empty dream
Lost to the night,
Father, I feel so alone.

I'm trying to hold on
Just waiting to hear Your voice
One word, just a word will do
To end this nightmare.

When will the dawning break
Oh endless night
Sleepless I dream of the day
When You were by my side
Guiding my path
Father, I can't find the way.

I know that the night must end
And that the sun will rise
I know that the clouds must clear
And that the sun will shine."

One of the moments I eagerly await in this story is when Simba sees the reflection of his father in the water. His father tells him "Remember who you are". I find that this rings so true of my own life. We are called to live a life to its very fullest. For me to start embracing this gift of life, I constantly need be reminded of who I am: a child of God. I have been bought with a price and cannot be separated from the love of God. The good work God has begun in me will be perfected; I am the salt and light of the earth, a branch of the true vine, a channel of His life, I am God's temple... I have the greatest unshakable inheritance awaiting me. Too often I forget what it means to be a child of God and I don't take hold of this life that has been offered to me. I become comfortable with the radical truth of the gospel, familiar with Jesus, satisfied with the church. I need to come back to the drawing board and remember who I am. Embrace this life God has blessed me with. A life of adventure. A life of undignified service to my God. A life where I remember that God's love pursues me every single day. A life where I know that His loving-kindness and faithfulness begin afresh with each new day. A life worthy of His sacrifice. The life He breathed in us.

"This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventuroulsy expectant, greeting God with a childlike 'What's next Papa?'" Romans 8:15