Fairy Liquid & Co

It seems like Liz and I always end up mop and sponge in hand, desperately trying to have our house look hygenically certified - whatever that may mean. As I found out, cleaning your house can be quite uplifting and enlightening at times.

A wise man once told me about the benefits of having a single washing product that would be efficient for hair, teeth, bathroom floors, dishes, clothes, ovens etc. Due to a lack of investment in specific cleaning products in our house, we didn't have a choice but to put his idea to the test. All of this in spite of my acute skepticism which I had to repress. Lemon zested fairy liquid was applied to the bathtub, the sink, the toilet and any other possible dirty-looking surface. Ladies and gentlemen, I have the pleasure to announce that this dish soap is very multifunctional indeed. It doesn't limit itself to making your glasses and plates shine, oh no. Our bathtub is glowing with delight and sparkles at you with sheer gladness everytime you approach it. You are free to come bear witness to the many fairy liquid miracles apparent in our humble abode. On Saturday, there will be a special session for which I've arranged the author of this all-in-one-soap hypothesis to make himself available to autograph your fairy liquid bottle.

Secondly, I've discovered a way of knowing whether the people who come round to visit your house as potential housemates are of any good material. Let me explain. Liz and I were deeply engrossed in our cleaning tasks as K's Choice directed our working rhythm and saturated us with the motivation needed to fairy-liquidate every possible hidden corner. Sadly enough, Great Britain isn't all that great on the present-day music market and has no knowledge of or plan to promote this fine Belgium band that goes by the name of K's Choice. However, to save the country's honour, one of our present housemates walked into the kitchen as we were joining the chorus in triumphant harmony, and said "Hey, this is K's Choice!". A wave of hope washed over me - I dropped my sponge and fell to my knees. Hope remained. When I regained my composure, I added up the elements and came up with a deep philosophical theory: Having one of your favourite bands play in the background, while you give a guided tour of your house to your possible future housemates, is the way forward to finding out if they're "the ones". If they pick up on what's playing, they have definitely tasted, seen AND heard what is good for their souls. They should live with you, without the inkling of a doubt. Our two candidates didn't mention anything about the music. On the basis of my theory, we fired them and still remain housemate-less to this day. If any of you are interested, you know what to do to get into the 44 Guildford clan.

In the future, if my theory proves to be true, I might just set up a business. I will have a musical dating agency in my house which will enable my clients to find their "one" by this very same spot-the-band technique. I mean, if people are successful by coming up with ideas such as blind dates or even speed dating, I think the chances for my business to flourish are relatively broad. Some find their "one" off the internet, I will revolutionise the dating industry through my musical approach. Stay on the lookout. Keep your gaze fixed upon the advertisements page of the KM Gazette.