Don't Try This At Home

Red Bull never gave me wings
The royal kind, those worthy of Kings
To fly, far far away
On a cloud of hay
To the land of energy;
They lied to me.

Coffee: decaf, semi-decaf or caffeinated
None should be found discriminated
For none have ever affected me,
No sir, not once do I recall either affecting me.

But how was I to know
That having both was not a wise combo?

That bitter white alkaloid
Left my bed of sleep void.
Ancient wise men warned against smirnoff,
Mixing it with the Bull sends your heart off.
But not one did mention the uselessness in counting sheep
When the Black Bull's high keeps you from sleep.

Thailand: a fine destination
At the hour of sleep deprivation.
A seven hour time difference
Was enough to make my feet leap over the fence,
Down to the telephone line I ran
For a buffet of laugh-all-you-can.

I did fly in the end,
Over the many slumber hours my eyes did fend.

Never shall I once again try
To bring together coffee bean and bull
I shall leave the wretched mammal graze on his succulent rye
While the shades on my eyes I will pull.