Treasures In Heaven

I don't want my life to merely edge on the path less traveled. I'm not interested in leading an ordinary life, I don't want to sink into the mundane. My stubborness also bore its good fruits at times, and my rebellious nature has always pushed me into wanting to be a non-conformist. If everyone is reading one particular book, I'll deliberately choose not to open it. I had to wait until the Lord of the Rings fandom had tamed itself down before watching any of the movies. Pop music isn't interesting - everyone already knows about it. Smoking up at school was the cool thing to do - it never awoke my taste buds.

But why is it that I constantly give into consumerism? What is it with my continual thirst for more? What of my yearning for comfort in material things? For things to make my life easier?

It's been a few weeks now that a gentle tug has made itself known to my heart: 'Store up treasures in Heaven'. What am I actually doing about it? Not much at all, as of yet. I walk into my room and the endless amount of small clutter just gives me a headache. The pictures and posters on my walls, once reflections of my life, are now a suffocating and haunting trail of the clutter I live in. I feel enclosed within my four walls - all I would want to do is open the window and fly out. I've become tired of myself - my supposed "need" for more. More. And more.

If I acted upon my thoughts, I'd leave everything behind for a while, go to a place I've studied, like Kerala in India, to learn about humility within the untouchable caste. Learn the secret of knowing what it means to be content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Leave room for Him to increase, and for me to decrease. Experience a faith where all there is to hope on is God, and not some back-up plan, in case God doesn't come through. To this day, I've still got one hand in His, while the other is holding on to this world, and what it has to offer - which amounts to nothing at the end of the day.

Even though discovering little-known bands is one of my hobbies, I've given up buying cds for lent. And it's just as well; liberating in fact. I got a text from my sister the other day saying we should fast together one day a week. Though the suggestion appealed to me, I wondered what I would be fasting about. And right then it all fell into place. 'Store up treasures in Heaven' resounded louder than ever.

Invade My All

As I watch the gentle snow
Find its way and soflty settle
I long for our lost intimacy,
I long to lose myself in only You.

In the beauty of Your grace,
Come find me in my brokenness.
Thirty pieces of silver: an easy substantial trade,
I've edged You out once more.

In this quiet place
Invade my heart,
Invade my life.

In the name of distraction
I've lost myself, I lost sight of You.
And I stumble over my own confusion.
Please fill me to overflow.

I wish I'd remember You're all I need,
Remember and believe.
I always seem to take the lead
And I'm in this place again, out of breath.

All I have now are Your arms
To fall into.
Faithful, even when I am not,
In You I find my rest.

In this quiet place
Invade my heart,
Invade my life.

Invade my all.

There's a fine line drawn between His will and mine, and I've been dancing on the battleground for too long. It's about time I follow His heart rather than my mind, and learn the steps to His simple dance.

Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to Him than birds. (Matthew 6:26)

I owe thanks to my friend Patrik, an inspiring example of a lifestyle of simplicity.